Goodnight nicole :) feel better,

because i can assure you that things will be better,

and i wont let anything bad happen to you. :)

"Wow, you can really lose someone being like that..."

 

 

"Maybe you never really changed at all. Maybe me changing  for you just covered up what you used to be."

this picture was taken a few months back and i think it explains

alot. it's the saddest forced smile i've ever seen. clearly you can

tell this wasn't the happiest moment of my life. in fact, the last year

of my life has been too much of a blur. too much went on and a lot

of the time i don't want to remember what happened, even if i

can remember. i think after a while i just chose to stop remembering

so much, so when i try to think back i get confused a lot about

what happened and when. sorry for a lot of the things i've done.

honestly the last times you've called, it's just been an ironic chance i couldn't answer them. just bad timing i guess, but even if i was able to answer them, i don't know what i would do. i'm still kind of scared. i think the worst thing i could ask you is "how are you?" because it worries me the most. i really hope to talk to you though, perhaps when we are ready or when i am ready.

and lastly, i noticed you seemed a little different. as if you've morphed into a pittsburgh kid.  are you happy with yourself ?